A Father's Pride
by Kyrene once Blood Roses
Summary: It's hard when you have a son that's not anything like you. It's even harder when your proud of it. LagunaSquall, FatherSon fic.


You're not anything like me...

I suppose that's a relief for you. In a way...I guess it's a relief for me too.

Once upon a time it hurt me to see the difference. I may not have seen you for the first 17 years of your life, but when I finally did I was expecting to see at least a LITTLE bit of myself in you. But you're the complete opposite...Your cold and serious...But your also strong. You get that from your Mother...I always admired that strength...

Actually I think the only similarity between the two of us is our taste in women. That Rinoa...She's like a mirror image of her mother. She's a bit more rebellious than Julia ever was...But I guess that little bit of oomph just makes her perfect for you. She actually reminds me of a softer version of Raine sometimes...Which also doesn't surprise me. Us Loire men need a woman to put us in our place, right kid?

Of course you never lost the one you love...Even now...Whenever Rinoa was around you stayed close to her, as if you'd lose her if she was out of your site...For even a moment. With the way you were brought up, who could blame you? It was only a matter of time before you proposed. You two had always acted like it, now it was just being finalized.

And as you two said your vows I knew you meant it, just like I had. Of course...Back than I still thought leaving Raine was my only option. Back than I still thought that it would have been pointless to go back for you...What kind of father would I be? I knew that you'd just be a reminder of what I'd lost...I figured you deserved better than a man who would just get depressed by looking at you...Leaving you in that orphanage was the right thing to do...

Staying to be the president was the right thing, they needed me. You were always so set on work over pleasure; of doing the right thing...It seemed relevant that you'd be able to understand my point of view. But you didn't...and now...I don't think I can really blame you.

I was a fool...A man in denial. I thought that if you could just understand the pain I was feeling...I had failed my wife, and now I was failing my son by just not being able to be there for him...That could tear a man apart you know...And than...I thought that you would understand.

It was only a year or 2 after you two had gotten married that Rinoa became pregnant...And than, unknowingly, you spent your last 9 months with her...Fate really is a funny thing. It took Julia and me apart so that our children could be together...Only to be yanked apart just like their parents...

After Rinoa died giving birth to Leandra...You know what that name means? I doubt you do, it means brave as a lion. I know for a fact that Rinoa named her with you in mind. She probably hoped that your baby would have your strength...I do...Well, back to what I was saying.

After Leandra was born you didn't really have a place to stay. So, naturally, I opened my house to you, assuming that you wouldn't take me up on my offer. Surprisingly...You did. She really is a beauty, that Leandra. She looks like a carbon copy of her mother, that seems to run in the family...The only difference is her blue eyes, their a softer version of yours...Almost identical to Raine's.

I was expecting this to be hard for you. Leandra, although a beautiful and wonderful baby, was..._is_ still an example of two women that were unfairly taken away from you. It was than that I, as ashamed as I am to say, expected to see my weakness inside you. I mean, what man _could_ handle that?

Which brings me to just a few moments ago...I watched you from the side as you stood on one of my various balconies, Leandra in hand. It almost surprised me to know that you can look at those stars and hold Leandra at the same time...I know Rinoa was always into astrology. You're sullen...sad, which isn't surprising...Why would you want to torture yourself like this son?

A shooting star goes by and to my surprise...you smile. A true smile...How? After Raine died I didn't know how to smile for a year. And yet hear you are, the man who only ever smiled for one person...The person who's now dead...Smiling.

You hold Leandra closer, pointing up to the star. Quietly you say, "I met your mother this way...It was the same day my heart began to beat again..."

Leandra just coos, oblivious to the words you say. Your smile becomes wider as you continue, "She's up there you know, just like both of your grandmothers. Their watching and loving you...Someday, you'll meet them." You kiss the top of her head softly. "But until than your all mine. Will you keep my heart beating for me?"

Leandra smiles and laughs as if answering yes. You smile and switch her to your other arm, holding her just as close. "I loved you before you were even born Leandra, and I will never stop loving you, remember that."

You grow silent after this. Just staring up at the stars, rocking Leandra in your arms, lulling her to sleep. Silently I walk to my room, knowing that you wouldn't like it much if you knew I had witnessed the scene.

I am a weak man Squall...A weak and pathetic man. I left you thinking it was the only way...I thought that you would be a reminder of what I lost, instead of a blessing given to me by my sweet Raine.

I'm proud to know that you take after your mother Squall. I pray that you will never become like me. You need to keep your strength, and raise Leandra with the same. Hopefully she'll never need it...Although, being Rinoa's daughter I'm sure she will. I hope that she'll object when she disagrees with something, always speak her opinion, and always do the right thing.

I hope she keeps her priorities first and not allow her fears to get in the way. That's what you did. That's what you always did...It's what I thought I WAS doing. You should have been my first and most important priority. You should've been my hope. My will to continue on.

I'm a broken man Squall, and I can only blame myself for this. All I can do is sit here and watch you raise your daughter into the beautiful, smart, and strong woman I know she'll become...

Neither of you have or will be anything like me...And I'm proud of that.

A/N: This story was a random idea I had since I love Laguna/Squall, Father/Son fics. And Laguna's situation when it came to Squall always irritated me. I believe he had every possibility to find his son and I believe he already knew he had one. Your a president of...anywhere, you have ways to find out these things. (Especially since he'd want to check up on Ellone at least ONCE) They might've been OOC..I personally don't believe so.

Disclaimer: I didn't own anyone that came into this story other than Leandra.


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